keeping abreast of the issue…

I simply don’t have the strength to have this conversation with each and every one of you, so I hope this blog suffices…

So, about 3 weeks ago, I started having bloody discharge from my right nipple.  Needless to say, this was quite disconcerting.  When it happened a second time I went in and had it checked out.  Actually when I called to make an appointment they got me in the same day because it’s apparently a big deal.

I had to get a mammogram done, and then had to wait an agonizingly long time to get an appointment to review the results.

During that time, I came face to face with an old enemy – overwhelming anxiety and panic.  There was a time in the not too distant past that I was unable to leave the house because of my anxiety.  I worked hard to learn coping mechanisms and to get off all medication in that regard.  Sure there are still times when things get dicey (I’m looking at you Toy Story Mania line), but for the most time it’s under control.

The last 3 weeks or so, not so much.  I’ve lost family to cancer. I have family with breast cancer issues, even today.  I don’t think there is a woman in the world who doesn’t worry at one point or another about breast cancer.  So, when I was slapped in the face with breast health issues, all of that progress I’d made in regards to Panic Disorder made a major backslide.  I’ve missed class because I found myself in the car suddenly crying, and unable to stop.

I couldn’t help but think back to 2010 when it was found that I had a fibroadenoma in my left breast.  That mass was benign, but I couldn’t help but wonder how many times I could test fate and win.  I know that everything is in God’s hand… but I didn’t want to push it.

So today, finally, I went in to meet with the “breast specialist,” a surgeon. He looked at all of my info, including the fibroadenoma.  He did a breast exam, and fortunately saw the bloody discharge for himself.  After looking everything over he said that I definitely had a mass in my breast that was intruding into at least one, possibly many, ducts.  He is hopeful that it is a papilloma.  His statement was, “they aren’t always cancerous.”

here’s a link to a page explaining all about papillomas, in case you are ultra-interested.  It also shows a great photo of a ductogram, which I will have done soon.

http://www.breast-cancer.ca/type/papilloma.htm

Here’s my shorter description.  A papilloma (NOT related to the HPV, by the way) is a tumor that grows like a tree, with branches growing out in many directions.  It starts in one duct, but with those branches growing out, it can quickly impact multiple ducts.  They can be benign or cancerous.

There’s no guarantee that it is a papilloma, it could be anything.

The next step is getting a specialized ultrasound and a ductogram to try to determine exactly which ducts are being affected.  He wants to remove as few ducts as possible, while ensuring that the entire mass is removed.

Regardless of what it is, it has to be removed.

Once it’s out they will do a biopsy and only then will we know for sure if it is cancerous, and what steps we would have to take from there.

Honestly, the weight of all of this is overwhelming.  Some of you know some of the struggles Justin and I have faced in the past year.  A few of you know ALL of them.  I am thankful every day that I have been so blessed to have Justin beside me.  I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him.

Of course I will update everyone as things progress.